"I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless ..." (John 3:3)

"I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again." (John 3:3)
Here Jesus is sitting with a Pharisee named Nicodemus, who was a member of the institutional temple ruling council. His question that prompted Jesus to state the above was:
"Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him." (John 3:2)
The Pharisee accepted Jesus as a teacher who has ‘come from God.’ Jesus did not correct him or deny this. By not denying the Pharisee, it is logical to assume that Jesus indeed saw himself as ‘a teacher coming from God.

What does 'born again' mean?

Jesus is describing to the Pharisee that in order to see God’s kingdom we must be “born again.” But the primary definition of the Greek word translated to "again" is ἄνωθεν (anōthen). And this also means "from above" according to the lexicon. This means the term can also be translated to “born from above.” This actually provides a deeper meaning to Jesus’ statement.

This is confirmed by his next statement about being born again.

Why? Because Jesus was not talking about the human body being born again. The kind of rebirth Jesus is speaking of is to have a change of heart.

What is this change of heart?

A change of heart is to decide to discontinue living a life revolved around our own pleasure (self-centeredness), and begin living a life that revolves around the pleasure of God (God-centeredness).

While we can make the decision at any time, this spiritual rebirth does not usually happen instantly. Rather, it starts with a commitment to change. Once we make a commitment to change, we have begun to travel the path towards renewing our loving relationship with God.

Proclaiming to others that we "accept Jesus as our savior" as is the custom in today's professional sectarian institutions, is not the spiritual rebirth that Jesus is describing. This "I accept Jesus" or "I'm born again" proclamation is being made to bring attention to oneself. It is an attempt to gain the acceptance of others in the church or gathering.

In fact, Jesus spoke specifically to this "I accept Jesus as my savior" proclamation:
“Not everyone who says to me ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father Who is in heaven.” (Matt. 7:21)
Crying out in front of others, or a crowd of parishioners that we are "born again" and that "Jesus is my savior" should be considered equivalent to the saying of "Lord, Lord" in Jesus' statement. Especially when this is being said in front of people to bring attention to oneself. These statements might be pleasing to the crowd, but Jesus and God are not so pleased.

We can tell by Jesus' statements is he wants us to serve and please God. "He who does the will of my Father" means that we act to please God. A person who is focused on serving and pleasing God is not so interested in making proclamations about being saved. Being saved, in fact, is of no concern to one who loves and works to please God. A loving servant of God does not even care about being "saved." Their only desire is to please God now and in the future.

Developing this attitude takes work. It takes commitment and discipline. It also takes putting oneself at the feet of the Supreme Being: We need God's help in order to change and grow spiritually. We do not have the strength to change alone. We must have God's help. At the point where we lay ourselves at God's feet, God will help to change us from within.